that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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