Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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