i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
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