What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Randomize
