I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
