we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
