Where is the hickey?
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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