Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
