i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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