I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
