saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Randomize
