The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
if i died would you start the facebook group?
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
