No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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