I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
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