dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Randomize
