you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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