We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
