i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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