so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
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