So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
