Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
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