Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
