Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
