You're my little dorito
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
