i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
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