The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
