I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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