i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
