The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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