I wish i was in the wii world.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
