is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
