She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
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