Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
