so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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