tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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