if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
