No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Randomize
