Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Randomize
