Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
