Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Randomize
