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She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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