My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Did I show you my penis last night?
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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