i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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