I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize