Sponge bath it is.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
