i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
you had me at cake vodka
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
