seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
