It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
