I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
