You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Randomize
