Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
