the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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