i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
