I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I will pee on everything he values.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
