Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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