Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
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