So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
