it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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