Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
