You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Randomize
