Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
