try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
