dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize