Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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