i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Text me some of your sweat
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
