Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
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